Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Things That Happen

I know I’ve disappeared for a while, but I’m here to explain the odd things that have been happening in my life. The reason why I didn’t post anything in over two months is because I’ve just moved to a new house. I had some problems with the telephone and the Internet and I was offline for about a month! Don’t ask me how I survived.

Meanwhile, I had to pack my entire house to move. On January 30th, my mother took my car to go to work and crashed it on a truck. It wasn’t anything serious, just a small scratch on the right door and a busted window. On February 2nd I sat down on the passenger seat of my own car and let my mother drive (my sister was in the backseat). We stopped at the red light behind two cars. At the green light the first car passed, then the second and at our turn another car passed on the red light and caught us, right at my side.

Now I know I’m capable of murder (which sounds ridiculously funny when you imagine a fuming 5’5’’ girl). My door was destroyed, but with my knee I busted it open and immediately flew at the driver’s neck.

“YOU’RE DEAD! STOP THE ENGINE AND GIVE ME YOUR ID!!!!!”

Guess what? He was 58 years old and he didn’t have a license since 2003! While the people on the street held me back to not actually hit the man with as much vigor as I was insulting him, I noticed my sister crying and my mother holding her. She had broken an arm and my mom funnily didn’t know if she gave her the first aids or if she tried to stop me from murdering the old jerk.

Since he didn’t have any identification with him, I picked up my cell phone and started shooting pictured of the accident, at my wounds and at his car, so we could locate it in case he escaped. While I was shooting the pictures the old man simply abandoned his car and walked away. I saw him at the distance, but I didn’t go after him. He had just condemned himself: he ran away from an accident with a victim.

My mom saw the police not very far away and ran after them. When they arrived so did my dad (who was as furious as me, but since he’s twice my since he can be a little intimidating). My uncle was with him when my mother called for help and he came along. My uncle took my mom and my sister to the hospital. Since I was the less hurt I had to stay at the scene to go to the police station.

Half an hour later; still with our cars blocking the whole avenue, a young couple arrived and immediately came to me. The man said,
“Hi, I was the driver. Sorry I ran off.” I stood speechless for about ten seconds when I yelled,

“YOU’RE SO NOT THE DRIVER. HE WAS AN OLD MAN ABOUT 60 YEARS OLD!”

“Yes, it was I!”

“Well, too bad whoever crashed into MY car had the misfortune to crash right into an artist. I can draw him right away. Actually, you do look alike. I bet he was your father.” And I couldn’t be more right.

Turns out my dad tried to hit the man for trying to convince me he was the driver and while the police held them back, the man’s wife came to me with tears in her eyes and with a rehearsed soap opera drama,

“You’re right, it wasn’t my husband, but he’s just trying to protect his father. His folk has heart problems and went straight home because it was too much for him to handle.”

“Very smart. He abandoned the crime scene. If he stayed an ambulance would come.”

“Wouldn’t you do the same to protect your father?”

“Actually, if my dad was a jerk and abandoned a girl with a broken arm as a result of an accident he imprudently caused I wouldn’t protect him. I wanted him in jail right away.” The woman looked stunned at my seriousness and looked away;

“Well, maybe you’re a little different.”

Her husband and my dad started insulting one another at that point, but the police had made them stay far apart. Suddenly, my dad said something I can’t recall and it offended the stupid wife. She started crying and advanced towards my dad, but I ran in between them. The policeman held her back and yelled at her,

“Lady, it has nothing to you with you. So SHUT UP and stand behind.” She wasn’t happy to be yelled at so, once again she came to me sobbing.

“You stop your dad. I can’t handle it when he insult people I love.” That was the point when I imagined myself on the cheesiest soap opera ever.

“You understand me, don’t you?” And with all the sarcasm I could manage I answered,

“Really? I don’t. You look like you’re going hysteric for nothing. I don’t believe in that 'exagerated love'you're talking about and I couldn’t understand why you’re so melodramatic. But I do know that the policeman told you stand back and shut up. If I were you I would do that or you will go to jail for not obeying him.”

“I can’t stand back while my love suffers!”

“Well, too bad the world doesn’t revolve around you. Go to your car and listen to some music, what you can hear can’t insult you.” And miraculously, she did just what I said.

Thankfully our cars were moved to the police station so I could fill out the official form. The parking lot at the police station was while open. My poor car wouldn’t even start. While I was waiting my turn I started realizing who badly I was hurt.

When I busted the door of the car open earlier I had completely destroyed my knee. It was a deep purple ball. My chest, my neck and my waist were starting to become purple as well because of the seat belt.

The time passed and I went to the parking lot to take a look at my car. Guess what? There was someone inside it moving around!!! How more ridiculous can this situation get? I was being robbed INSIDE a police station!!! I called the guard on duty, he arrested the dude and I had to take my car to the insurance agency.

The next day I couldn’t move. The impact was so strong that it completely worn out my muscles. I couldn’t bend down and I couldn’t look up. My whole body was stiff like a rock. I won’t even say how difficult it was to sleep for a week.

But college class would start and my car would take a month to get fixed. I borrowed my mother’s Astra and went to college. On my way there, in the worse avenue ever, I couldn’t change gears anymore. Yes, the gears just busted right in my hands.

I was already thinking someone had a crud sense o humor and was joking with me. I called my dad (he has a store that fixes car or something like that.) He took the Astra to his store and I was left with no car.

Of course when something goes bad it can always get even worse. Later that same afternoon while the car was hanging in the elevator and the mechanic was working underneath it a truck didn’t see the store while he was parking and snapped all the electricity wires. Without electricity the car was left hanging in the elevator for two days.

At that point I decided to stay home until my poor crashed car was ready. It took me a month, but finally I could pick it up. Of course nothing was flowers and chocolates that day. The side that had been crashed had been painted in a different color! How could I drive a car that was golden and beige in different sides? I had them to paint it again.

A week later finally I had my car in my hands. I checked the step tire and realized someone had replaced my new tire for an old one. Yep, I had been robbed again. I took a deep breath and decided to live with that.

And then you ask me if it’s over. Yes, pretty much over, except I went to a bar April 13th with a friend and when I returned to where I had parked it had a small crash in the back. I had to get it fixed again and I haven’t driven since.
I’ll get back driving next week. Let’s see if my luck is changed or if I’ll have to buy another car.



The accident




The jerk's car.



What was left of my poor baby.



Me, VERY angry with the sitbelt burn mark.


Now I want a SMART CITY COUPÉ!


2 comments:

Fernanda Jo said...

eeeeeee hahaha amigo que é amigo bate o carro qdo o amigo bate tbm...hahahah vlw rsrsrs
belo menos vc tem airbag neh??? rsrsrs
está bem???

Svenske Floyd said...

Pity about all your trouble! Glad that you are here again!