Have you ever had the sensation that someone was living your story? That your life was somehow put into words and even the quotes were the exact same at one point? While I was still reading the first chapters of One Day, by David Nicholls, I had that weird thought and suddenly a 'WTF' formed in my mind.
Even in my crisis I'm not original! A character goes through the same neurosis! And what her friend tells her is pretty much what a million people keep telling me constantly. - Okay, so Dex, wrote a huge letter that put everything together, - but the point he made was the same and even a few lines were repeated to me over and over again.
And then I sat there, reading the book and crying like crazy and that made me think: what am I doing with my life? I may not be Emma, but I am living a life that I hate, working a job that underpays me, I have pretty much the same sense of humor. I don't agree with a few of her political views, but so what? Did I want everything in the book to be like a mirror to my life? That would be freaky.
Here are a few quotes of the letter that made those three letters pop up in my mind:
"You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if i could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle"
"You know what i can't understand? You have all these people telling you all the time how great you are, smart and funny and talented and all that, i mean endlessly, I've been telling you for years. So why don't you believe it? why do you think people say that stuff, Em? Do you think it's a conspiracy, people secretly ganging up to be nice about you?"
I haven't finished the book, yet. I stopped there and cried myself to sleep. Whatever happens in the book from now on at least it gave me a lot to talk to my therapist.
And I mean, A LOT.